Dear Reader,
Love languages are an organic way to connect with your little one. This choice to connect with your kiddo aligns with the choice of being happy. Understanding what the five types of love languages mean and then the actual application can be complicated. Observing which love languages my family and friends gravitated towards took some time for me to identify.
Although once these concepts clicked, I have discovered many opportunities for further communication that reach into feelings that are deep within their hearts. When we are able to understand how each other communicates, the connection is so powerful. Looking back, I realize my Mom and I developed a natural form of communication when she braided my hair each morning. Our love languages connected seamlessly in this daily moment.
Our Daily Routine
Each morning after I dressed I would open a drawer in her dresser that was filled with barrettes in a variety of colors with beads, ribbons, and more. Carefully, I would choose a barrette that matched my outfit of the day. Once I sat down at the kitchen table, my mom would begin braiding and styling my hair for the day.
Touch is one of my love languages and the comfort of her fingers in my hair brought me a sense of safety. On the other hand, my mom loved through acts of service and the action of braiding my hair each morning fulfilled her emotional needs as well. Every day she would come up with something new and I would walk into school sporting a new look. My teachers regularly asked me to see the look of the day and I proudly twirled to showcase my mom’s creativity.
Creativity and Love Languages
My mom often said she was not a creative woman but she really was. I realize now that braiding my hair was another subtle outlet for her creativity. The other irony is we both like/ liked to be loved through words of affirmation. The attention my teachers showered on me filled my emotional tank and I would later tell my mom about the praise I received for her hair style. She always glowed at this mutual acknowledgement.
Even with this daily routine there were still a lot of misunderstandings and when she stopped braiding my hair as a teenager we never pivoted our connection. Although I am sad that my mom and I never worked through this pivot, I realize that I have a choice and choose awareness.
Observing others’ love languages
It is a common practice for me to observe others to gather their communication patterns and love languages. My nephew is a perfect example. He is just shy of 22 months and is evolving constantly. My biggest heart ache so far was during my last visit when he did not need me to follow him up the stairs. It broke my heart because I love shadowing him like a guardian angel seeing that no harm comes to him. However, my inner voice instructed me to keep my heart open.
I am happy to say that I did follow this guidance and discovered that he does like me to carry his buckets, follow him around the backyard, and retrieve his little ball from under the shed. Just like the instance of my mom no longer braiding my hair, I also will experience many pivots with my nephew.
Love languages are key to the choice of connection and happiness with others. Yes, it takes work and is not always easy. However the moment when you are acknowledged is priceless. Love languages have their ultimate potential when our emotional tanks are filled.
I am grateful to feel this sense of fulfillment when I reminisce on the memories of my mom’s fingers flowing through my hair and see my nephew smile at me.
Love Always,
Kristina Lucia xoxo
P.S. My mom was also a quality time person. I invite you to check out my free coloring drawing! Coloring is a wonderful way to spend quality time with your child.