Dear Readers,
I pray this blog finds you well and you are enjoying the winter season. It’s been a busy season for everyone between Valentine’s Day last week and school vacation this week. I always appreciate the site of flowers and red hearts that Valentine’s day brings and am now enjoying seeing everyone’s adventures during this week. Since I last wrote, I spoke at my first summit, spontaneously traveled to Austin, TX, launched my digital coloring books, and celebrated my birthday last week. Through all these moments and more I have been having many conversations about love languages and how to communicate more effectively with each other. At the same time I am realizing the importance of being able to pivot and open to possibilities of love as it comes in all different shapes and sizes. I have been searching for ways to start writing about this topic and this weekend I received the nudge that I needed from a special woman, my Mom.
Through my own healing process, I have come to realize the importance of communication. One of my biggest fascinations in communicating love is how the five love languages achieve this exchange not only through words but also actions when they are properly understood. I still struggle with accepting that my Mom and I had love languages that did not align. I see the breaks in communication that it caused us especially as I walked into adulthood. As a child she and I had a daily connection when she would braid my hair each morning. My Mom loved through acts of service and I love through touch. Braiding my hair each morning my emotional tank was filled by this touch and her need to serve was met through braiding my hair. In my teens we lost this daily moment and I realized its importance many years later. Although our conversations were strained many times, our last exchange was as follows.
Mom: “I love you so much.”
Kristina: “I love you too.”
I still have this text in my phone.
Since she has been gone, my Mom often sends me signs but these past few months there have been “Easter eggs ‘that have popped up. When I was organizing her things at Christmas, I found an old Tweety Bird sweatshirt that I often wore in my early teens in her things. That same day I could not find the rosary that I bought for her in Paris but to my delight my sister told me that it was with her. I could not think of more perfect place for it to be. This past weekend my sister sent me a picture asking if an item was mine. Buried under my Mother’s workout cloths was my childhood bunny lovey. I cannot recall the last time I saw this lovey but I immediately remembered my young-self snuggling with it. More importantly, I was deeply moved that my Mom had it tucked away in her things. This lovey brought me so much comfort as a child and now as a grown woman I feel comfort in that my Mom treasured me in her own way. It is a form of love that came in a different shape.
As I write future blogs, I look forward to telling more stories and exploring the five love languages further as it is a powerful subject. Seeing my childhood lovey for the first time in so many years made me feel immersed in a circle of love. My Mom was a proud woman and I am learning to respect that aspect of her. Although she did not share my love languages, she loved me and others fully in her own way. When my sister uncovered this lovey, I truly believe my Mom was and is saying, “I love you so much. I kept this piece of you for me and only me.” I am not going to lie- the apple does not fall far from the tree because I save every card/ note she wrote to me. It’s a piece of her that I can treasure now and always as she did with tucking away my childhood lovey for me to find when the time was right.
Love Always,
Kristina Lucia xoxo